Do you ever go through life wondering how other people do it? Do other mothers make mistakes, have breakdowns, sick days, Mac and Cheese for dinner? Do other mothers cry in the shower, spend extra time on the toilet just for some peace and quiet, or forget to pick up their kids from school?
So often we only see what others want us to see, super mom. Guess what though, no one is perfect! It’s sometimes a difficult fact to accept, because we all want to be the perfect parent and have the perfect child.
For years so many people called me super mom, good I was so far from it, I can’t even explain how far from super mom I am. First off, I am a terrible house keeper. I am always sick, like always! I catch everything, I should probably live in a bubble. I don’t know how to punish my kids and stick to it, luckily they are pretty good kids. I can go on, but I really don’t want to list every fault I have as a parent. Frankly, there’s too many.
Recently one of my biggest issues has been my memory. This is partly due to my illness, partly due to the medication I take for my illness. I repeat myself constantly and forget everything. Matter of fact by the time I finished the last paragraph, I had already forgotten my point.
I’m in a few online support groups for chronic illness. In these groups various topics are discussed. One that I’ve seen fine up a few times is parents concerned about letting their children down. I think this is something we all worry about, physical illness, mental illness, or healthy parent. We all want to do right by our children.
Recently I’ve been seeing mothers asking for support. They’ve been struggling with their teenage children. Something we all go through. We always give the advice that we do our best, every parent goes through this. Although this isn’t always what we as parents feel. Often we question what have we done wrong? How do I fix this?
I recall being very distant from my mother when I was in my teens well into my twenties, maybe even into my thirties. I thought I knew it all. Why did she have to get into my business so much, have an option on everything? After all I was an adult! I knew what in was doing.
Well now I’m in my forties and my mom is my best friend. She still has an opinion, she still doesn’t agree with me on everything, but she loves me, she supports me and is always here for me and I am for her.
She will be 79 next month and I sure wish I didn’t waste all those years being mad at her. She might not have known it all (but she knew most of it), she most definitely did have the right to her opinion. After all she birth me, raised me the best she could and didn’t leave me in the shopping cart when I was crying like a little jerk. No, she came home and cried in the shower, after she made me Mac and Cheese for dinner.
So next time you wonder if you’re the only parent about to have melt down, just know it’s been happening since the dawn of time. No parent is perfect, no child is perfect and we all try our best. It okay, you’re doing okay, your kid is doing okay. Have that glass of wine, that chocolate bar and that cry in the shower.
Most of all continue to live your best life.