My Best Life

So often we take things and people for granted. When we have a bad day, it’s usually those closest to us that feel it most. There is a sense of security with those closest to us. Like we can say or act how ever and they will still love us, so does that really makes is okay to be an asshat? NO!!!

My biggest blessing is my family, more specifically, my husband. I’m pretty sure I’m the luckiest woman on the planet. He’s kind, funny, supportive and so much more. Is he perfect? Heck no… No one is, bit he’s perfect for me. Yeah sappy I know.

When we enter into a relationship, we have dreams for our future. Chronic illness typically isn’t part of that dream, unfortunately it sometimes happens. For those of us with chronic illness and supportive partners, we are beyond blessed. Many can’t handle the strain, disappointment and all the medical side effects, doctor visits, and unanswered questions.

My husband has always supported me financially, emotionally and physically. Now what I mean by physically is he picks up the slack around our home when I can’t. He works out of town. His schedule now is typically Monday to Friday and is home on weekends. It used to be 14 days away, 7 home and all different variations. Anyways when he is home he frequently tries to do things to ease my load when he’s away. Something as simple as laundry can be a week long chore for me.

Last night during our nightly call, I was telling him about the migraine I’ve been fighting (they have been increasing lately because of change in medications). I explained how I did little things like cleaned the half bath on the main floor. This man is so incredible, he praised me, saying it’s good I’m not over doing it, yet still trying to accomplish some tasks. Later in the night I scroll through Facebook and see others complain about how their spouses can’t even help with dishes or putting the kid’s to bed. It was at this moment I realized how blessed I really am.

My husband didn’t sign up to care for and support a medically disabled woman, but he’s killing it. He along with our family are my biggest blessing. On days when I can’t get out of bed and they all check on me, or make me a coffee, I know how lucky I really am. Every day we are all faced with different situations, it’s how we make the best out of them that makes our lives better. So take a look at the simple things that we commonly take for granted, count your blessings and try to live your best life.

Xoxo

Charlotte

This morning I woke up and started asking myself, what do I really want? If I could hand pick every aspect of my life, what would I really want?

Most of us want financial security. Not having to worry about debt, where to live, how to pay for our next trip to the supermarket. Those are kinda givens, but if you had an unlimited amount of money and could do any thing, have anything, what would you really want?

I’m actually struggling with this. If I could live anywhere on earth, where would I want to live? I know I want a nice house, but not huge. I want it to have a pool and Jacuzzi. I’d love to have a solar paneled home. I really don’t know where I would want this dream home be. I have a nice home now, it doesn’t have the extra features I’d like, but it’s a nice home to raise my family in.

If I could have any car in the world, what would I want? Well recently I decided I want a hybrid car, so maybe a Prius or a Tesla. I know I don’t want some crazy sports car. I currently have a used SUV that I do like, although it isn’t perfect it does what I need it to do.

I’d love to travel more with my family, I want to explore this beautiful world we live in. Now I do travel within North America. We typically go somewhere at least once a year. That’s pretty lucky I think.

If I had Oprah amounts of money, how would my day to day life change? I don’t get my nails done, and still wouldn’t, I hate the feeling of false nails. I can’t see myself getting plastic surgery, cause that’s just scary. I would likely buy some new clothes, maybe get my hair done and some self care things like massages.

I find sitting down and trying to think of what you would do if you had no limits, helps you to realize all that you already have.

I think the biggest thing I would do with unlimited financial abundance is become a philanthropist. I’ve always wanted to help others. The happiest I’ve been in life is when I’ve volunteered. Giving back gives such a great feeling. I’d love to travel the world and volunteer in every country, helping others.

What would you do, is there lots in your life you would change? This exercise really helped me realize what a wonderful life I have. Being grateful for what we have and what is to come with help you to live your best life.

Xoxo

Charlotte

I had written out a whole blog post on crappy things happening. Like spilling my dinner, my water and a bunch of other things that make us think we’re having a bad day. Then I got a call that put it into perspective for me.A friend called me, she’s been working tirelessly to help prepare a newly renovated home for a family that has faced so much in the past year. A terrible accident that paralyzed their oldest, killed thirteen of his friends, a second accident that added to his ptsd and yeah a third accident that thankfully another son wasn’t injured in. Just before the first accident both parents lost their jobs, thanks to the recession we’re in. Their family has lived in hotels for thirteen months as their home had to be gutted and made accessible. Now finally this weekend they can reclaim part of their lives when they move back home.So how can I complain about spilling my fries on the floor when others are going through so much more and coming out on top because they refuse to give up. Well, I can’t. Life is what we make of it, look around and see the adversity, the struggles around us.Another friend of mine has gone two months without water in her new home. I can’t remember what the issue was, but thankfully it was fixed this week. This didn’t stop them, they enjoyed their new home. Worked on the yard to make it everything they wanted and loved the time with eachother. So often we take for granted simple things like running water.The next time you’re having a bad day. Take a minute and put it into perspective. Is what ever happened really that bad? Likely it’s just an inconvenience. Think about five things you have to be grateful for, simple things like being able to see, having indoor plumbing, clothes on your back, whatever comes to mind. It can help turn your bad day into a good day when we realize how blessed we truely are.This is our life, ups and downs, so don’t take it for granted and live your best life.XoxoCharlotte

My mom came to visit this past weekend. Unfortunately I was in an autoimmune flare and had some significant pain. I didn’t let it stop me though.

In a flare I need extra breaks, naps, and whatever else my body tells me when in a flare. I do my best to push through. A few times mom said that we didn’t need to do something because of how I was feeling. I disagree. I need to do things that make me happy, make me feel better. We went to the mall even though I had a terrible headache. It was fun, we laughed, we shopped and we left. We weren’t there long, but it was a great outing. When we got home, I laid down for a bit to recharge.

I’m not gonna lie, there are days where I don’t get out of bed, but if I can push myself just a little, that’s a part of my life my disease hasn’t taken from me. It a fun time or a happy memory that can keep me positive.

Sometimes been just have to keep pushing so we can live our best life.

Xoxo

Charlotte

I think this is the hardest and the most important step in living our best lives and in manifestation. Forgiveness.

Throughout life we do things, say things, forget things, that hurt those we love. Others may do, say or forget things that hurt us as well. Well as the saying goes, forgive and forget.

We all need to let go of the past. We can’t change it, but we can learn from it. Learn not to say or do those things again, learn not to let those that take advantage of us into our lives. Holding on to anger or hurt from the past can affect your future. So be like Elsa and Let it Go!

Frequently we will forgive, but we still hold some kind of negative feelings to the situation. For example, I once wasn’t very pleased with my daughter once. I said, “I love you but I don’t like you very much right now”. Needless to say this hurt her deeply and I recently found out still bothers her. I beat myself up over this, but I have to forgive myself for saying it and hurting my daughter. I hope that she can forget and let go. I can’t change that I said this to her, but I can use better words in the future and learn that what I say can affect those around me.

We as humans will never be perfect, and that’s okay. We will make mistakes, but don’t let them being you down or control what’s to come. Forgiveness of oneself and others is hard, and forgetting is harder but once we do, we are free again to live our best life.

Xoxo

Charlotte

Last week I started watching my friend’s baby. He’s 8 months old and only ever been with family. He’s also the cutest little nugget. I’m not gonna sugar coat it though, last week was tough. It was a new situation for him and it’s been a long time since I’ve taken care of a baby. Then add on the fact that I was in an autoimmune flare. By the weekend I was having more tests done, and on extreme pain.Well it’s a new week, my test results came in and although I was concerned I might need surgery…I don’t! There’s still some more tests and treatments coming but nothing serious. This is a win in my book.Now today the little man came back. I’m only watching him two days this week. I was pretty nervous after how I felt last week. Today has been a complete success! He’s not playing strange, he’s eating well, he’s playing and just fantastic. It’s a great day with such a great boy. This is another win.This week I faced fears about my health, my mental well being and taking care of another little human. All have turned out great. It’s the little wins like these that add up and make it all worth while. Facing fears, no matter how big or small can help you to live your best life.XoxoCharlotte

Assumptions are just a part of life, but they shouldn’t be. This is a tough one, we need to let go of assumptions. These are just as bad as stress when it comes to our mood. We don’t like when others make assumptions about us, so why do we do it to others?

I few days ago I was talking to a fellow mom. I was telling her how highly I think of her and her family. I said something along the lines of ‘your family is just fantastic’. She laughed thanked me and corrected me stating ‘not always’. This made me think about it. I made an assumption that they have a perfect life and perfect kids and live life to the fullest. Now they take are a fabulous family, they are the kindest people I know, volunteer around the world and constantly support and encourage those around them. What I don’t know is their struggles, their tears, their sacrifices, because that is personal to their family. They don’t share it on social media, they don’t sit and complain about what’s going wrong. They show the world what they are grateful for. Something we could all learn to do a little more.

I have been losing my hair since I was sixteen, it’s part of my autoimmune disease. Something I’ve always been very self conscious about. I used to worry about what assumptions people would make about my hair loss, is she poor, is she on drugs, is she…(fill in the blank). Silly things that don’t even cause hair loss, but I was scared of the assumptions.

How often do you drive past someone in a nice car and think, damn they must have money! Fact is we have no clue, it could be a rental, a friend’s, they could’ve saved for the last twenty years to get their dream car. What ever you think, is nothing more than an assumption.

One thing assumptions do is take us out of reality, it can instill jealousy. Wouldn’t it be nice if instead of making assumptions we feel grateful for the person. Grateful that they can volunteer around the world and teach their children the importance of giving back. Grateful that the person losing their hair is alive and breathing. Grateful the person with the nice car is enjoy the comfort of it, even if it’s just a test drive.

When we show gratitude, we start to see the good in life. Change your thoughts from assumptions to gratitude and watch your happiness increase, your blessing and enjoy living your best life.

Xoxo

Charlotte

That is the only word I can come up with for how I feel right now. I had this whole post planned and started, but I want to be real with you all. Sometimes adulting sucks. I’m having one of those right now and sometimes it’s hard to even listen to my own advice and pull myself out of the funk.

This week has been hard. I’m in an autoimmune flare. What does this mean? Well increase fatigue, full body itching where I literally want to peal my skin off. Hot flashes where my skin feels like it’s burning off. I got a painful rash, migraine and my depression is increased, just to name a few issues. Then add the steroid they put me on to treat the flare. It makes it hard to sleep, weight gain, and various other serious side effects. I’m having joint issues and need x-rays to assess the damage and possible treatments.

Now I also started babysitting this week for a friend, and that is way harder than I ever thought. Packing around a 20 pound baby when you have a bad hip and shoulder is hard.

So I guess today’s post is about acceptance, acceptance that we aren’t super heros. Acceptance that it’s not all sunshine and rainbows. In other posts, I’ve talked about bad days, journalling and how to improve your mood. For me, this blog post covered all of that. As I wrote, I released my frustrations, my expectations of self and I accepted that sometimes it won’t be easy.

When you feel down, like life is rough and you just want to curl up and cry, realize it’s okay. Go ahead cry, release that feeling so you can heal and move on. This is how I live my best life.

Xoxo

Charlotte

There’s times in all our lives where it just seems to get too busy. We have to remember self care. Especially for someone like me with chronic illness, we’re always told to listen to our bodies. I get it, bit sometimes it feels like we can’t.

Last Wednesday to Sunday my daughter had dance competition. Five days that can last up to fifteen hours. Hard benches or seats, lots of cheering and lots of work. I love watching my girls perform, typically I don’t love the long days.

This competition was different, we usually go for what we need and then leave and come back of needed. Shawnee wanted to be there the entire time and cheer on her team. I was so proud she helped with props, helped little dancers get ready and encouraged everyone. This was a big deal, she is normal introverted and stays to her self. She goes to a very intimate school and does mostly self study. Dance is really her only interaction with others. So for her to stay and jump in, is just amazing.

After the first day, I stayed all day with her. Day two, I was spent, I didn’t sleep the night before. So I dropped her and her dance friend off and returned later to cheer her on. Day three, I don’t even remember. I went with her on day four and then left after she danced and another parent brought her home. Day five a student teacher picked her up and I meet her there later where we stayed till the end.

This is a lot for any parent, I just had to listen to my body and come home to rest as needed. I’ve struggled a little since, but am making sure to do the self care needed to continue everyday.

No matter how busy life gets, whether you are healthy, sick, have a chronic illness or disability, make sure you take time for you. Even just five minutes of meditation to calm your mind and body. This is how we keep positive. Love and listen to your body so you can live your best life.

Xoxo

Charlotte

Smile!

The easiest way to increase your vibration/mood and start attracting the good in life is to smile. A simple action that will make you feel good.

Try it, smile for 10-20 seconds. You can’t help but feel a little better. I actually start giggling everytime I do this activity.

So often we go through life with a straight face, or as it’s now called resting bitch face (RBF). Imagine walking down the street and seeing smiling faces everywhere. How could that not make you happy?

I’m fairly shy and don’t like greeting strangers with a hello. I stead I smile and give a small nod when passing someone on the street or in a store, wherever really. You never know when it might brighten someone’s day. Today when I was getting gas, they lady across from me was cleaning her Windows. She had a huge smile on her face. I couldn’t help but smile myself and it felt good. He smile helped raise my vibration. It’s a domino effect.

If we all do our part to make our lives better, it just might trickle down to the next person. Life is short, let’s all enjoy it, be happy and smile. Then start living our best life.

Xoxo

Charlotte